The Facebook Share that Stings

The last few days I haven't been able to get on Facebook without seeing a share, like or comment on this story.  Every time it pops up I cringe a little and scroll quickly past it.

I want to be happy for them.  I should be happy for them.  Instead I feel sorry for myself and I scroll on. You see, we too were pregnant with mono-mono twin girls.  Twin girls that we lost to cord entanglement at almost 18 weeks.  Ruthie and Imogene were delivered July 19th, 2012.  

Although they were not born holding hands, we saw some pretty phenomenal moments from them during our many, many ultrasounds.  Dancing around, playing and kicking each other.  Those are things you won't see with other twin pregnancies.  When the twins are monochorionic and monoamniotic it means they are sharing one space for everything.  It is an incredibly scary way to carry twins resulting in healthy births only 50% of the time.  I often say our girls played a little too hard and a little too much and that must be why they got all tangled up.  You see, Ruthie and Imogene passed away because their cords were so entangled that they could no longer supply them with what they needed to live and grow.  

What this story has done for me is helped me to understand how social media posts can affect others.  I don't believe in censoring yourself, your excitement, your praise or your posts to please every person on your friends list.  Impossible.  However, I do now empathize a bit with those that are sometimes sensitive to certain posts.  I understand how a pregnancy announcement is going to make an infertile friend cringe a bit.  I see how an announcement of an engagement or wedding might disappoint a friend who is recently separated.  I get how one parent excited about their child's achievements might affect a parent who's child is struggling.  

I don't think we should change what we share, but I do feel a bit wiser when it comes to understanding the feelings of others.  I would be lying if I said I hadn't rolled my eyes or been annoyed when someone voiced concern over a post, but I suddenly get how something that is posted with a big heart can feel so personal.  I will keep this in mind when I see others reactions.  I am not planning on changing what I do, say or share, but I am certainly thankful for this opportunity to empathize with others and perhaps lend a kind word when I can.