We All Win the Mompetition

Mom-pe-ti-tion: noun 

1. the act of competing, both knowingly and unknowingly, with other moms.  All the time.  In a super annoying way.  For no reason at all other than to boister your own self confidence. 
2. a contest for some prize, honor, or advantage that exists only in your head and that you will never actually win.
3. the rivalry that is offered by a competitor (re: another mom) who made a comment, posted a picture, or boasted about her child in a way that is actually pretty normal yet somehow gets twisted into a horrible game once sung gleefully about in a tune known as "Everything You Can Do I Can Do Better".

We live in a new day and age.  One so very different from the time we grew up that I think many of us have spent some time overwhelmed and confused about how to handle it.  Between Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram, and the numerous other forms of social media we are in a constant battle.

To compete or not to compete?  That is the question that way too many Mom's these days are asking themselves.  Let me make this easy and very clear.  The answer is always no.  Do not compete.  Mom-petitions are the thief of joy.  They make us crazy and they never make us better Moms.  Never.

I recently read an article titled "I'm Done Making My Kid's Childhood Magical".  The author went on and on about how we do too much to create magic for our kids.  How our mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers would be appalled at all we do just to create a magic that inherently exists in childhood.  For the most part I think she is right but I think her frustration is misdirected.

The problem isn't what we do, the problem is why some Mom's are doing it in the first place.  The problem is that we have created a society without boundaries where we are constantly sharing every bit of our lives and subsequently feeling like we are being judged about every bit of our lives.

The fact that this author doesn't want to do elaborate pinterest crafts or over the top birthday parties truly has nothing to do with the fact that she doesn't want to make magic for her kids and has everything to do with the fact that she is done competeing.  Bravo.  Be done you strong mama you.  But let me tell you, stepping out of the mompetition ring doesn't mean the battle stops.

Some mom out there is going to turn her home into a castle and hire a small army of princesses to flood her daughters 2nd birthday party.  The battle is being ok with that.  Some mom is going to serve box cake mix cake and ice cream with refined sugar.  The battle is being ok with that.  Some mom is going to plan a week of crafts and elaborate activities during spring break while another is going to let her kids watch movies everyday.  The battle is being ok with that.

You see where I am going?  Being a good Mom, even a great Mom, means doing what you can do in a way that makes you happy and present for your children.  It doesn't mean winning an unannounced competition in your head between you and every other mom friend on Facebook, in your neighborhood or on the PTA.  If us moms spent as much time supporting each other as we did competing with each other my goodness we would be a force.  A wonderful but flawed group of moms supporting, encouraging, commiserating....whatever the moment calls for.

Here is a 'Do' in this world of parenting.  Be proud of your child.  Be consistently, openly, happily proud of your child.  While you're at it, be proud of your friend's child, your co-worker's child, the other child  at the park.  If we all win, the competition is over.  So let's win.