The Beginning

Hello new friends.  I'm Mandy.  I'm a stay at home mama to two little kidlets, Charlotte and Oliver.  I have been itching to start a blog for a few months now.  Somewhere I can spew my thoughts out and let my craziness ramble instead of bombarding my husband the minute he walks through the door or with umpteen phone calls a day to discuss things like bowel movements and what to have for dinner.  I mean seriously, some days that's as deep as it gets.

I love being a stay at home mom, I really do.  But there are some days, or rather some moments in every day, where I loathe it just a bit.  Not because I am not happy, not because I don't love my kiddos and certainly not because I wish it was any different.  Solely for the fact that I am constantly exhausted yet I continually feel like I am accomplishing nothing.  No?  That's not ringing a bell for you?  That's ok.  Pass this blog along to the stay at home mommy friend of yours.  She'll get it.

I don't exactly have that mom personality that you see in the movies.  The ones where they wear cardigans and jeans that come up too high.  I wear hooded sweatshirts and work out pants every day.  Every.  Single.  Day.  Whether I work out or not.  My hair is in a messy bun ponytail looking thing and I almost never wear make-up.  I don't have that weird, tranquil, everything is always great voice those moms have either.  I am loud and occasionally I yell.  In fact, I just yelled to my daughter right now to check in her room for her dance tights because I can't find them down in the laundry room.  (Update: she wore dirty tights from the laundry pile I couldn't find them in.)

Those moms always seem so well rested too.  I am tired.  Partly because my kids go to bed too late and therefore I stay up later than that because us parents need our kid free time to decompress.  We know we should put the kids to bed earlier.  And we try.  And we are really good at it for like 5 days.  Yet inevitably life settles and you are back where you were and I am totally ok with that most of the time....until that moment I lose my mama mind.

Thats what I say at least.  When I reach that breaking point or when I know it's coming.  I feel it building and I TRY to change something before it reaches the boiling point.  But alas, I do not always win that internal battle.  My mama mind is gone.  I am spent.  Maybe I really am crazy, but mostly I think I am human.  Join me as I succeed, and sometimes fail, in this mad world of parenthood.